In this gripping autobiography, I share my experience of holding on when everyone else let go. With every ounce of strength, I gripped tight, silently screaming on the inside, unable to surrender or relinquish my right to live my own life. Despite the choices of those around me, I had none of my own.My sanity teetered on the edge between a frenzied, rabid dog and an existence of task-oriented groundhog days. I didn’t recognize myself, yet the merry-go-round kept turning, and I couldn’t step off. I had already witnessed more than my eyes should have seen, but leaving wasn’t an option.The reason why? She devoted her life to protecting me from bullies, silently absorbing their scorn. Now the tables have turned, and it’s my turn to protect her. No matter the cost, I vowed to love her, keep her safe, and give her my undivided attention and lifelong support. We’re in this together, no matter how long it takes.
Juli Flintoff is an English artist from West Yorkshire. Initially studying drama she later obtained a bachelor of arts degree from Sunderland University. For several years Juli was a successful Community Arts Development Worker facilitating workshops throughout the Bradford, Calderdale, Leeds, Wakefield and Halifax areas. After exhibiting five large banners at the Bradfords International youth event attended by delegates from all over the world she became involved with projects for young offenders. This led her to train as a Prison Officer and later a Drugs Dog Handler. For the past 12 years she has dedicated her life to caring for her elderly parents. The Secret Back Door is Juli’s first publication.
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Reviews
7 reviews
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This is an excellent read, with a fantastic insight into the author and Emellene's experience of living with dementia.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone experiencing someone living with dementia.
The book has so much depth and brings laughter/joy and sadness at every turn.
Not many books grasp you want to keep reading.
But wow, I can't wait to see what the author has planned next.
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This book was written from the heart and soul of the author. A true autobiography covering very personal and tragic experiences which affected the whole family. A brave move to care for her mother with dementia keeping her promise to always love her. She gave up her own life to live with her and look after her totally along with 2 young sons. Sibling greed and jealousy added to the mix making life unpleasant is an understatement. I felt sad reading this book as my own mother suffered from this horrible disease I wish I had the strength and courage of the author to take my mum out of care and look after her myself. Maybe if I had read this book prior to handing over my own mother to the care of the institution things would have been happier for all of us..Sheer determination bravery and love shine throughout this book. I highly recommend
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What an amazing read! I could not put the book down. It is a real page-turner. The author tackles the difficult and emotive topic of dementia with great empathy and thoughtfulness, providing insight into the thoughts, emotions, and feelings of both the dementia sufferer and the carer.
The love shared among the core family members is apparent at every turn of the page. Lois works tirelessly to make Emmeline’s life as comfortable as possible, ensuring that she maintains her independence for as long as possible. The elements of humor in the book were an unexpected and refreshing addition. This book is a must-read for anyone living with dementia, caring for an individual with dementia, or healthcare practitioners to gain valuable insight.
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Absolutely lovely read, couldn't put the book down once started. Smashing to see 'the view from both angles'
Emiline, Lois, Jack, and Joe have a wonderful relationship not only on paper but in reality too
5*****
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I was so sad when I finished reading this beautiful book. I felt I got to know the author and her family and their journey. I reflected on what myself and my siblings did when we were in the same situation and wished I had read this book prior to making the decisions we made. The strength and courage of Lois shine throughout this book revealing a very strong determined lady along with her much-needed support network of her partner and sons. As well as struggling with a widowed parent with dementia she battles with siblings who want to make her life more difficult than it already is. Written from the heart and as it is.. a brilliant first book. Highly recommended
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Fabulous read,
An emotional rollercoaster of highs & lows in the vow to allow be there.
“Not just a carer,” Lois said.
A true journey of love and understanding.
Emmiline is a gentle yet strong soul to be reckoned with.
Highly recommended
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I don't read much... I get bored easily and cannot remember the last time I read a full book!! Had this for a week and I've finished. Read a little every day... Amazing!!! My mum suffered from dementia so I recognized quite a lot of familiarities which strangely was comforting.. Wasn't just my mum then!! Thank you
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