‘I’ve still got the diaries somewhere, scruffy from stuffing them in my handbag and covered with something just short of scribble. Five or six diaries. What was happening was earth-changing. I felt compelled to record it as faithfully as I could…’

Linda Appleby

During the 1990s, Linda Appleby, a brilliant university academic, kept a journal that combined a sharp sense of what was happening in – and in some ways, to – the world with an unintentional timeline of her own mental breakdown, which culminated in a stay at Cambridge’s Fulbourn Hospital in the early 2000s. Current events from the period – the long war in the former Yugoslavia, the hostages in Lebanon, the Good Friday Agreement, the rise of Tony Blair – are intertwined with Linda’s professional, domestic and romantic concerns. The result is an honest and unapologetic record of a keen mind gradually broken by a combination of external and internal pressures.

Through it all, Linda’s care for her children, her strong religious faith – which, though Christian, extends to a more than passing interest in both Muslim and Hindu beliefs – and academic grounding in philosophy somehow saved her from total disaster, and the book ends with a few entries in the mid-2000s, when Linda, having left Fulbourn, had been able to make a new life for herself in Cambridge. A few of the poems she was writing at the time are included in the book.